PUL Playoffs, Making the Most of the Night - Amy Zhou #12

Whenever I fly home after ultimate weekends, I put on the Carly Rae Jepsen album, Emotion, and listen to it all the way through. I could write an entire blog post about what she means to me, but I'll leave it at this - her devastatingly catchy melodies laced with heartbreaking vulnerability make listening the perfect way to decompress and come to terms with my own emotions. Maybe it's because I'm exhausted and sleep through the majority of the album, or maybe it's because there are so many things running through my head and my heart, but I am stuck. I am stuck feeling a multitude of emotions - some conflicting, some harmonious, but all deeply intense. It'll be a while before I can put them away and move on to whatever comes next, but for the time being, I want to acknowledge them.

Joy
What a wonderful weekend filled with ultimate and ultimate people. There were exciting games with athletic plays and beautiful flow that looked so smooth and effortless. My favorite part though, was the chance to hang out with teammates and opponents off the field and to begin to see some opponents as more than just that person I want to crush on the field. They're now that person I want to crush on the field, crush on off the field (because let's admit it, competence is attractive), and then crush a beer with after it's all over.

Sadness
We were so close. Losing sucks. Losing in sudden death double overtime doubly sucks. Leaving it all on the field and being incredibly proud of my teammates made it a little better. And scarfing down food and drinks while watching the other semifinal surrounded by the people I love made it completely better for a couple of hours. I’m sad that our season ended one game too early, and I’m sad that I no longer get to look forward to Wednesday night practices with friends from NJ, Albany, NYC, and Philly. Most of all, I’m going to miss playing under the lights in front of a packed and ridiculously rowdy NYC crowd (Gridlock fans, please never change).

Gratitude
Lastly, I am overwhelmingly thankful for everyone that contributed to the PUL with their time, effort, and money. I'm eternally grateful to you all for making this league possible. My teammates and I have already started talking about Gridlock 2020. I don’t know what the PUL will look like next season or the season 10 years from now, but it’s been an honor to be part of this one.

It's been several days since championship weekend, and my emotions are still unsettling. It might take another couple days until I feel right again, or it might take 54 minutes and 6 seconds of Carly Rae Jepsen tunes (deluxe edition of the album or bust). Either way, I'm just happy I get to play a sport that still makes me feel.

Eileen Murray